Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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