So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
