look no pants
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
