This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize