I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
