If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
