should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
