Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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