It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize