I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
