she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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