im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
