So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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