Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
