I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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