Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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