She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
