u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
