Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
