I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
