U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
