Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize