I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
