i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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