do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
