i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
