If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
