Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
