Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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