i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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