Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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