His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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