He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
