I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize