the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
