whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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