After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
