new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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