Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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