did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Who wears a wallet chain?!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
