I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
