Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
