I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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