i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
that is very illegal...i love you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
