Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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