"it" just moved
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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