how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
