I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
