How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
