i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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