I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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