Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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