I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize