I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
