now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
