this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it glows. i had to have it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your cock deserves a montage
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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