Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
