operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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