after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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