I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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