it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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