i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
