we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
