Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
