Someone shit on the floor
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
