i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
