whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
